You’ve noted that

“It seems unfortunate to have had an experience that you look back on after many years as a pinnacle event in your life when you almost had a grasp on something great and harmonious. I do not envy your perception of the significance of that moment in time, for as long as you cling to it you can only return empty and unsatisfied to the way things really are.”

In this, there is no confusion. There is nothing in ‘what is’ to be grasped, as to grasp is to become attached, and thus, to become disengaged from the action that is life. An event is not important in its capacity to overshadow that, which is to come. Its significance is its transformative action, nothing more. One must not mistake citation for fixation.

Joe